Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Bladder after baby

As the Johnson and Johnson commercial says, having a baby changes everything. Even your bladder. ESPECIALLY your bladder. Come on, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about.

Does this sound familiar?: 

  • you are walking around the mall with your hubby when suddenly you feel the urge to cough (or sneeze). Immediately, you stop walking, cross your legs tight, then proceed to sneeze (while attempting to hold in your pee).
  •  Perhaps your friend says something that makes you laugh hysterically when you suddenly realize you've just peed yourself a little. 
  • Do you practically have to wear a diaper (or very dark colored pants) when you try to exercise?
 If you said yes to any of the above scenarios, then this blog is for you.

The only friends I've discovered that don't really share this problem with me are the ones who #1. haven't had a baby, or #2. had a C-section. For those of you who don't have this problem and don't fit into categories #1 or #2, YOU SUCK!

I remember hearing about this bladder phenomenon before I was pregnant. "How embarrassing! That will never be me!" I thought. Whenever I shopped in the maxi pad aisle and spotted the women's adult diapers, I'd chuckle a little. Ah, those were the days; when incontinence problems seemed worlds away.

Then I got pregnant. At first, the problem wasn't so bad. I did have to pee quite often, but that's pretty normal when you're pregnant. As the pregnancy progressed and the baby was squishing my bladder,  the pee problems began! At first, out of embarrassment, I tried to hide it from hubby. That didn't last long. Then it became a running joke between us. He'd make me laugh, I pee a little, and then exclaim, "Good one honey! You made me pee myself on that one!"

Still I assumed that once the baby came, the pee-pee problems would leave. I vaguely remember hearing about kegel exercises but I poo-pooed them. "Kegels, schmeeegels", I thought, "Who the hell can remember to do those??!?! They're probably a myth anyway." I was much more concerned with slathering stretch mark cream all over my body. (Good thing, or I'd have bladder issues AND stretch marks on my stomach. OY!)

Now my son is almost 3 years old and all y'all who actually did your kegels are laughing at me. Or laughing with me since it's now become a running joke in my Stroller Strength mom exercise group. When our instructor, Mel, makes us do jumping jacks, my friend Nicks and I love to yell, "Did you remember to wear your diaper today girl?!?!?!" When she has us doing 'high knees', I love to call them, "high PEES". Sometimes I joke so much about it, one of us actually ends up having to run to the bathroom. Hey, it helps to laugh through the pain.

I do love to laugh and joke about this issue because, come on, it's freaking hilarious! But sometimes it does get pretty irritating and embarrassing. I finally decided to bring it up to my dr. at my last OBGYN visit. Of course, the first thing he asked was whether or not I did kegel exercises. WHOOPS!!!!! Then he told me what I pretty much already knew, I'll probably need surgery when I'm done having kids. Next, he told me to start doing the kegel exercises. (Still can't remember to do those damn exercises!!!!!) 

Last he mentioned the craziest option of all. I believe it was called a urethral insert. It is similar to a tampon. Here's the info I found about it on a medical website; Urethral inserts are small, tampon-like disposable plugs that a woman inserts into her urethra to prevent urine from leaking out. Urethral inserts are generally worn before engaging in activities that might result in stress urinary incontinence, and they may be worn throughout the day. Whenever you need to urinate, you simply remove the device. Urethral inserts are not meant to be worn 24 hours a day. Urethral inserts are available by prescription.
One example of a urethral insert is the FemSoft Insert. The single-use disposable device — made of soft silicone — is a tube with a balloon-like tip. Encasing the tube is a sheath filled with mineral oil. The device is inserted into the urethra and up into the neck of the bladder with an applicator. Most of the mineral oil in the device then flows into the balloon tip. Because the balloon tip is soft and filled with fluid, it conforms to the shape of your bladder neck, creating a seal. This seal prevents urine from leaking out. When you need to urinate, you remove the insert.
Sounds scary right??? And definitely too much trouble. 

Or how about this crazy ass thing: Pessaries
Your doctor or nurse practitioner may prescribe a pessary (PES-uh-re) — a silicone or latex device, usually shaped like a ring or a disc, that's inserted into your vagina. You can wear a pessary all day. The device helps support your bladder to prevent urine leakage. You may benefit from a pessary if you have incontinence due to a dropped (prolapsed) bladder or uterus.
A pessary usually is fitted and put into place by a doctor or nurse practitioner. If you have a pelvic infection, it should be treated before you're fitted with the device, to avoid complications. You usually don't need to remove the pessary to urinate, but you do need to regularly remove it to clean it. Some of the side effects of pessary use include an allergic reaction to the latex or silicone, infection and pressure sores. 
Hmm. I think I'd rather deal with a little urine leakage than possible infection or pressure sores!!! Whatever that is....

I ended up opting to do the kegels (yeah right) and setting on my sights on surgery sometime in the future. AKA- wear a pad when I exercise and cross my legs every-time I laugh, sneeze, or cough. 

I hope some of you can relate to this blog and will share your experiences with me. I mean, what the hell is funnier than someone peeing their pants???! But seriously people, I hope this didn't scare any of you non-mothers from having children. Because trust me, it's totally worth it. I'd piss my pants 100 times if it meant having a kid 1/2 as awesome as my son.  

P.S. If you see me, remind me to do my Kegels!!!! 


  1. Haha. My first 2 children were natural, and I guess I suck, because I only ever had to pee 3 times a day even when pregnant. I'm sorry, I had to rub that in just a little. As for the kegels, I'm bad at remembering those too and my midwife informed me after my 2nd child that if I didn't remember to do them, I'd be wearing my uterus by the time I'm 40... WEARING my uterus?!?!? Way to scare the HELL out of someone! Put a sticky note on your dash board that says "Kegels" and commit to doing them as you drive. It gets a few in each day at least ;).

  2. Wearing your uterus?!?!? I love it!!!!!!!

  3. Honestly, I'm so glad to see that someone who is thin and pretty has this problem. I thought it was just because I was fat that it happened to me. It's a joke around here too. and when I get sick and cough a lot I know to stock up on Always. Its the only time I'll wear a pad. I know the Poise pads are better equipped to deal with "that issue" but I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna admit to the checker in WalMart that I need them. Maybe I'll make a list and play it off like I'm doing my grandma's grocery shopping.... hmmmmm.....

  4. This actually happened:
    "Mom, what's a pessary?"
    "It's like a shoe tree for your vagina."

    Hey, at least you wouldn't have to worry about moths.

  5. This just happened yesterday. I was brushing my teeth with the water running and then all of the sudden I pissed and it wouldn't stop. I turned off the water and yelled, "I hate my vagina!" My husband said, "What?" I said I peed myself again....lolol. True story ~ and I do kegels.

    1. That's hilarious!!!! I'm glad other moms are sharing, now I don't feel so weird!

  6. I actually had the surgery in August. Best thing EVER!!!! I'm done having babies though. :)

    1. YAY- There is a light at the end of the tunnel.... LOL

  7. Exactly the same story happened to a friend while we're at the park with the kids. I have one kid, medicated delivery and never had any problems with my bladder. It saw it myself how she peed herself and how she felt humiliated. She told me it started after her 3rd child. I feel sorry for her.