Saturday, February 18, 2012

The MOM code: It takes a village

They say it takes a village to raise a child. A village of women is what I think they mean. No, I'm not saying that men are unimportant or that they don't contribute to raising a child. Of course they do, nothing is more important then having a good father (except having a good mother of course!) I mean that if there were at least one more woman in my house, raising a child would be SO much easier!!!!

I often wonder if these households with two or three wives have it right. Women just instinctively know what to do with children. Most of the time, you don't need to ask a woman to get things done, she just does it. At least in my experience.

Whenever I do things with my female "mommy" friends, we always act as a team. We take care of our own and each other's. That's because of the MOM code.

For example: when I go out to dinner with A and hubby, things always go the same way. I sit next to our son (every time!) and entertain him with books, snacks, and toys. I always order for him and when the food comes, I'm the one to cut up his chicken and make sure he eats. Meanwhile, hubby digs right into his food and is almost finished by the time I take my first (now cold) bite. I'm not even complaining, I'm the mom. That's just the way it is. Even when our son was a baby and would cry in a restaurant, I was the one to take him outside at least 85% of the time.

Fast forward to September, 2011. I was out to dinner with my sister in law and her daughter, who is 8 months younger than A. Both of us mommies had our bags packed full of tricks, toys, and treats. We took turns reading to the children, playing with them, and as a team, we managed to get both of the children to eat a good amount of dinner! And the mommies got to eat too! What a difference.

Another example: playdates at the park with my friend Robin. Her son is 1 month younger than A and the kids love to play together. She also has a 7 month old baby boy. When we all meet up at the park, the moms are a united front. We are a team! I hold her baby if she needs to chase after her older son or get the Baby Bjorn situated. I put the boys in their swings if her hands are full with the baby. If I'm busy doing something,or I'm tired, she chases both of the older boys and constantly checks on them. The mom code. We just know how to help each other.

We moms also seem to be able to read each other's minds. For example, I can't tell you how many times I have gotten emails or comments about my blog saying things like "You hit the nail on the head" or "It's just like you are inside my head!" and "I always think these things and then you put them into words!" It's true. Once you're a mother, it seems like you can instantly relate to (almost) any other mother.

Just this morning, I was posting on Facebook about how unfair the weekends are. I get up with my son at 7:30, feed him, dress him, play games with him, drink 1/2 cup of cold coffee, clean up the house and dishes, and start the laundry all before 11am and all without a shower! Meanwhile, hubby rolls out of bed at 9am, plays his keyboard or piano for 30 minutes, eats a leisurely breakfast (have I eaten yet???), drinks a full cup of HOT coffee, plays Words with Friends on his Kindle, then takes a looooong shower. As I was typing that comment on FB, my close friend Ashley was blogging about the EXACT same thing. As soon as she posted her blog, I immediately read it and found that she was "in my head" and she "hit the nail on the head!"

Of course, I love my husband and I could never ever dream of parenting A without him. After I got frustrated with him this morning, he took our son to the park for over an hour so I could take a long, hot shower, shave my legs, and even blog!

But there is definitely something to be said for the MOM code and for having other moms around to rely on. Having a good network of mom friends is PRICELESS! How many times have you called, messaged, or texted one of your mom friends because you know they will instantly understand?? I thank G-d every day for these wonderful women in my life-women all over the country! Hence today's blog shout out to my wonderful, reliable mom friends who help me raise my son. You all know who you are!

 And to my non-mom friends, I just have to say, thanks for listening, for even READING this blog, and I hope if you do every want to/decide to have kids, I hope I can be there for you in the same way too. 


  1. So true.. and why is that? although I have to say that The Hubster is pretty good about helping with the kids. He always has been, but as a general rule, men are quite hands off when it comes to the things that we need the most help with.. like eating hot food and bathing!

    1. My husband is amazing! But women just seem to "get it" more!