Two days ago, we went to the obgyn and got to hear baby's heartbeat for the very first time. I was so nervous because the first trimester was just coming to a close and I was just praying to hear a heartbeat. It took the doctor a minute to find it though. That minute was the LONGEST minute of my life. It felt like my heart stopped until I finally heard that magical little sound of the baby's rapidly beating heart. PHEW!
I have been having nightmares that I will have a miscarriage. I NEVER remember being this paranoid when I was pregnant with "A" but I guess I'm older and wiser now and more aware of the many things can go wrong with a pregnancy. When I'm awake I try to think positively, but when I'm asleep that's a different story. One of the nightmares felt so real that I practically woke up in tears. What a relief it is to finally cross the threshold into the second trimester and with a baby with such a strong heartbeat!
The single most important thing to me is having a healthy baby. People keep asking me if I prefer a boy or a girl this time and I keep trying to tell them," As long as it's healthy!". A lot of peeps assume I want a girl because I already have a boy. I admit, one of each would be nice. If I had a girl first, I'd probably want a boy now just so I could have one of each. But to utter the words "I want a girl" or "I want a boy" seems so selfish.
First of all, it seems to be tempting fate. I mean, what if I sat here and said, "I want a girl I want a girl" and then we lost the baby? Or found out something was wrong with her? Would gender really even matter at that point? Of course not.
As many of you know, I have an older brother who is severely and profoundly retarded. Because of that, I am fully aware of what it's like to live with a child with a disability. So perhaps I'm not quite as idealistic as some of my friends who have never been through that. Again, we just want a healthy baby.
Second of all, we tried for six months for this baby. Doesn't matter if it is a boy or a girl, I promise you, we want it!!!!! I would never ever want my child to later find out we were disappointed in what he/she is, especially before it is even born.
Needless to say, I am still dying to find out what it is. Finding out the gender of your baby makes it so very real. Besides that, once you know what it is, the fun can begin. We will be able to pick a name, decorate the nursery, and better plan the shower!
I convinced hubs to take me to a 3D ultrasound place at 16 weeks so we can find out. The doctor isn't going to tell me until 21 weeks and the not knowing is driving me bananas! The appointment is for May 5 (two weeks away!!!!) so I told him it can be my Mother's day present. Plus I can't wait to get another sneak peek at our little one. The last ultrasound we had was at 9 weeks and baby just looked like a blob.
In the meantime, I am driving myself crazy trying to figure out what it is!!! Here are the results of the different "tests" I have done to try to figure it out:
- Chinese gender chart=BOY
- Old Wives tale online quiz=GIRL
- Heartbeat test=GIRL (160bpm at first appointment, 155/160 at second appt. Old wives claim that 145bpm and under is a boy, anything over is a girl)
- Baking soda test=GIRL (put a few teaspoons of baking soda in a plastic cup and pee on it. If it fizzes, it's a boy, if not, it's a girl)
- Way I am carrying=GIRL
- Friends and family poll=a few say BOY, most say GIRL (probably because I already have a boy, people automatically assume girl. Ha)
- My son's opinion=GIRL. He is telling complete strangers he is getting a baby sister even though we have told him several times that we don't know what it is yet. When we tell him it could be a little boy, he responds with "But it's a girl. I don't want a bruder (brother), only a sister!"
- Maternal gut instinct = changes EVERY day. I was thinking GIRL for a while, but looking back at this list and the results, my instinct changes to BOY. Everything here pretty much points to girl which of COURSE means it's a boy! ;)
In any case, only two weeks left until the big gender reveal! We will then get to see who is wiser: the Chinese or the old wives!!!
In the meantime, care to place a bet? Odds are 50/50, not bad odds at all!