Tuesday, January 17, 2012

UN-real Life

Anyone else starting to get a little annoyed about how unrealistic television shows and movies are about marriage and family life? I know, I know, these are are supposed to be unrealistic so that when we sit down on the couch at end of a rough day, we can escape into tv world. Tv world-where children never get in the way of adults' social lives. Movie world-where men are perfect, romantic creatures who understand and appreciate women.

Of course, before I was a mother, I never realized how unrealistic certain shows are. Now that I have a toddler,  I find myself constantly asking, "where the *&#$ are the kids?!?!" Desperate Housewives is a perfect example of this. The women of Wisteria Lane are always getting together and playing poker, drinking coffee, or gossiping over a glass of wine. Where are the children? Especially the babies?!?

When I moved into my new neighborhood (about a year ago), I was psyched to be living in a real live "Wisteria Lane". No joke, the first time I took my son for a walk around the neighborhood, I thought I was in a time warp. Dads and sons were playing basketball in their driveways or grilling, kids were riding their bikes, and adults were walking their dogs while simultaneously waving and smiling at us. The first time we went to the park, a group of young kids walked up to the field next to the playground and started playing a game of softball. "Where am I???" I thought. It got even better when my neighbors started coming over with gifts and baked goods. I really thought those things only happened in the movies! One neighbor even invited me to a girl's night out where, yes, the moms get together, drink wine, and gossip. I also came to realize that many of the women on my block are around my age with little boys my son's age.

My Wisteria Lane bubble burst when I started getting together with my mommy neighbor friends for playdates and get-togethers outside of girl's night out. Unlike Lynette, Bree, Gabrielle, and Susan, my friends and I cannot seem to get through a sentence, let alone a whole conversation, without being interrupted by our kids. Someone hit someone, one of them has to pee, someone isn't sharing...he wants a snack, she wants some chocolate milk...and so on and so on! WTF? How do the TV women do it? And where are the kids???? 

Parenthood is another show guilty of this. (Although I admit, it's a lot better). I LOVE Parenthood and actually think it's pretty realistic especially when the family is all talking at the same time or fighting. They have even shown the children having actual tantrums which I applaud. But I must say, they make family get togethers look so fun and again, half the time- where are the f*&#ing children? The men are playing poker, the women are having girl chat, and the children are nowhere to be found. I don't know about you, but my husband and I can almost NEVER both go out at the same time. I have my twice monthly girl's night outs, and he has his weekly tennis match on a seperate night. One of us always has to stay home to watch our kid. It is true, kids can sure put a damper on your social life. At least in real life. And by the way, my husband comes from a big family like the Bravermans (on Parenthood) and family get togethers are a little more chaotic. Fun, but choatic...because we have toddlers and children and teenagers that actually exist. 

Finally, I come to the romantic comedy/romantic movies. I told my husband about the topic of the blog I was writing tonight and he called me, "the master of the obvious". Okay, in theory it is obvious to us women that real men just don't act like the men in these romantic movies. But we all know that deep down we are dreaming of the day that our husbands will say ONE thing like the men in these movies say. I saw this funny e-card on Facebook last week referring to the Notebook. It said, "Noah wrote Allie 365 letters so I think you can answer my text message." That really spoke to me! What the hell? These men in these movies pine away and wait for these women and sweep them off their feet with romance when half the time, I can't even get my husband to call and tell me he'll be late for dinner? Don't get me wrong, hubby definitely has his sweet and loving side, but it sure as hell doesn't look anything like these guys in the movies. We poor women continue to pay to see the movies and dream of the day our men will magically change into Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosseling in a Nicholas Sparks movie. And our poor men! This is what they have to live up to? No wonder they quit trying! (We'll just blame it on the movies for now...mmmkay?)

Hubby and I were watching tv tonight when a preview for this new movie, The Vow, came on. It seems that the premise of this movie is that this very much in love newlywed couple gets into a car accident and the wife loses her memory.So the husband, Channing Tatum, has to get her to remember him and fall in love with him again. As soon as I saw this preview, I shouted, " WE. ARE. SEEING. THIS!" That made hubby look up from his laptop to see what the hell movie I was dragging him to now. The more I watched, the more annoyed I got. I finally said, "Honey, if I lost my memory in an accident, you'd probably pretend you didn't know me and run like hell!" To which he laughed and added, "Who am I? Uhhh....The mailman. No...that's not my kid. Well, bye, time to deliver the mail." (I know, we make an unstoppable comedy team.) 

Now that people is real love and real life! Uh-oh guys, gotta go. Our son is yelling that he has to go pee. 


  1. Cara I had no idea you were such a talented writer! I am so glad I started reading!

    1. THANK you Angie! That comment made my day! (Now that I figured out how to reply to your comment instead of delete). Miss you!

  2. Cara,
    This is so true!! I went and saw "Beauty and The Beast" this weekend, hoping that my boyfriend would be like the Beast and woo me. Alas, I was just dreaming. Thank you for putting my thoughts and feelings into words! I never thought about these things until someone writes them.

    1. Sometimes my husband acts like the Beast, not the wooing part though. LOL